“Julie,” Mutter called from downstairs, “Supper is ready!
“Coming, Mutter!” Julie yelled, abandoning her coloring book on the table. Her dark blonde hair bounced on her as she ran towards the door. I sighed, tugging at my tight braids. I always had a feeling that Mutter never really loved me. She let Julie do whatever she wanted, but if I asked for a break, she would get mad and demand that I go back to studying. Even if I wanted to have a snack, she would force me to do my chores. I continued working when I suddenly heard someone tapping on the door.
“Come in,” I grumbled. Vater peeked inside the room with a small smile on his face. Vater was always kind to me, almost like I was a house guest. He would bring me bread and marmalade whenever he could. If Mutter yelled at me, he would argue back, saying I wasn’t at fault. Sometimes, he made me feel like I wasn’t his daughter, but in a good way.
Me not being his daughter. I thought, chuckling. I wonder how that would turn out.
“Come down for supper, *mein** kind.*” Vater said.
“I can’t,” I replied, “You know how Mutter is.”
“Lena, she only wants what’s best for you.” He replied, but I could see he was getting annoyed.
“Oh really?” I shot back.
“Yes,” He glared at me, his nostrils flaring.
“You may say she loves me, but let’s be honest. She doesn’t.” I argued, my rebellious side taking over.
Suddenly, Vater exploded in anger. He took on the stance of the army general he is and started screaming.
"WIE KANNST DU ES WAGEN, SO ÜBER DEINE MUTTER ZU SPRECHEN?! WIR NEHMEN DICH AUF UND DAS IST DIE ART VON RESPEKT, DIE WIR BEKOMMEN?!” “HOW DARE YOU TALK ABOUT YOUR MOTHER LIKE THAT?! WE TAKE YOU IN AND THIS IS THE KIND OF RESPECT WE GET?!” He spat. I shrank under his seething gaze. Vater was a high-ranking officer in the German military. Grueling training and vicious commanders were all he knew. So whenever he was mad, he would shout random orders or just plain out scream. It always scared me, but Mutter said I deserved it.
At this point, Vater managed to cool down. He turned his harsh eyes towards me.
“Come down to eat,” was all he said before turning around and practically sprinting out of the room. I fearfully stood up and trudged behind him, trying to hide myself. But a thought struck me unexpectedly. When Vater was screaming at me, he had mentioned “taking me in.” What did he mean by that? I had seen my birth papers. So why did he say that Mutter and him took me in?
By the time I finished pondering my thoughts, we had already reached the dining room table. Mutter and Julie appeared to be in the middle of a conversation. They looked up when they heard Vater’s loud footfalls.
“Oh, there you are!” Mutter smiled at Vater, but her smile dimmed when she turned to me. “Lena, did you finish your work?”
“No, Mutter.” I whispered.
“Speak louder, I can’t hear you.” She demanded, crossing her arms. Julie unhelpfully stared at me with wide eyes.
I mustered up all my courage and replied, “No Mutter, I didn’t finish my work.”
Mutter was on the verge of shouting at me when Vater intervened.
“I excused her. Now eat, you both must be hungry after waiting for me.” We had a rule that no one could start eating without Vater. Others thought it was weird, but to me, it made sense. After all, Vater was the head of the household.
I sat down next to Julie, who was already digging into a plate of baked potatoes. She looked at me and handed me the plate. Even though Mutter and Vater loved her more, she wasn’t so bad. I took her offer and put some on my plate. I then put the potatoes down and reached for the rinderbraten, a dish consisting of roast beef and pork fat. I picked up my fork and took a bite of the flavorful meal. It was so heavenly…
I had grown to ignore the constant pangs of hunger. Now, they were merely just reminders of how much the rationing was affecting us. Every few weeks, the Germans would come and take as much food as they liked from the local church, which was now a place where they kept our stolen food. I hated them so much. How come they got all the food when we were left to starve?
One breezy evening, the Germans came yet again to retrieve their food. Hundreds of military trucks lined up, waiting to be filled. I didn’t even know that we had that much food. Considering that Mama, Lesia, and I barely ate twice a day, it was shocking to see so much of it.
“Lena, go see what’s going on.” Mama said, peering over her shoulder. “There aren’t usually this many trucks.”
“Please come back,” Lesia pleaded. “I’ve heard rumors about kids getting stolen after they were caught sneaking around.”
I let out a scared laugh. “Don’t worry, I will. Bye, Mama. Bye, Lesia.” I replied, turning around.
I was walking towards the old building when I heard someone screaming. I hid behind a bush just as two German soldiers ran past. I peeked out of my hiding spot to see them yelling at a girl, not much older than me. She had a small bundle of food in her hands, which the soldiers snatched away. They were shouting at her in German, and I managed to catch snippets of their conversation.
“…stealing from the führer.” One hollered, hand on his belt.
“…punishable crime…” The other threatened. The girl started to cry and began begging for forgiveness in Ukrainian. The two soldiers just scoffed, kicked the dirt in front of her, and told her that if they ever caught her again, she would get more than just a warning. They turned around and I calmly walked out from behind the bush. My heart was pounding, but I just strolled along as if nothing happened. The soldiers eyed me suspiciously, but didn’t say anything. The second I stepped into my house, I collapsed on the floor, crying. Crying for that poor girl who only wanted some food. Crying for all the Ukrainians who were being tortured by the cruel Germans.
Crying for me because I couldn’t save my family.
“Lena, are you going to eat?” Mutter’s voice brought me back to reality. I blinked twice, startled by the sudden brightness.
“Are you OK, sister?” Julie asked, her eyes filled with concern.
“Do we…I mean, the German military, steal food from the poor people?” I blurted. Mutter paled, while Vater remained stone-faced. Julie looked at me with questioning eyes.
“I think you should go to your room.” Vater said, completely dodging my question.
“You didn’t answer my -” I was cut off by Vater jumping to his feet and hollering, “Go to your room. NOW.” I leaped out of my seat and scurried to my room as fast as my legs could carry me. I slammed the door shut, careful not to let it make too much noise. Once I made sure no one had followed me, I slumped against the wall, defeated, but my mind was racing. Who was that girl from the vision, the one named Lesia? And why did she look so much like me? She had the same azure blue eyes, and her light blonde hair was almost the exact same shade as mine. And why was the other girl stealing from the führer? He was our lord and savior…right? Then, there was the woman I called “Mama.” Mutter was my mother, so what did I call her that? Then, it struck me. What if Mutter and Vater weren’t my parents, and Julie wasn’t my sister? What if they were just…replacements?
No, that’s ridiculous. I thought. They’re my family. But I still couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that I was correct. But if they weren’t my family, who was? My mind was a jumbled mess of accusations and theories. Yet, one question in particular stuck out to me.
Who am I?
end